I’ve been working on a personal landing page today which has mostly involved creating an image which I had intended to include an image map so the links to my other profiles would be clickable, but I’ve not managed to get the image map working in the wordpress environment. I’m sure it’s to do with rescaling the image but I’m tired now so I’ll look at it another day. Anyway, for what it’s worth here is the image.

As is usual for me I went for a couple of meetings in London again this week. I often go to posh offices and deal with their usual administrative procedures to allow me access to the building.  Ordinarily this process is uneventful.  A smiley reception person of typically 60/40 female/male ratio asks me who I’m meeting and what my name is then creates a little badge and directs me to the lift.  This week my third and final meeting in town I was asked to look into a camera so security could take a photo of me.  I’m not really a Mr do as your told kind of person so I declined.

This took the security man back a little.  He pushed his chair back, stroked his chin and looked towards the other security munchkin stood maybe 10 yards away to my left.  Munchkin had clearly overheard me and started an authoritative step towards me.  However, before the first authoritative step was complete, having made eye contact his step ended up more as a single step mince as he curled his hands backwards and upwards (think Frank Spencer) as he realised he had no idea how to approach the matter.  Seeing his colleagues discomfort the smiley reception person, sans smileyness, swiveling his chair from side to side asked me why I didn’t want to have my photo taken.  I have a whole host of reasons I could have listed but said something about society going in the wrong direction, the whole idea of photographing someone being security theatre with zero prospect of actually providing one jot of additional security.  As I was doing this I had pulled out a swanky tie and having buttoned up my collar was tieing it.  Flumoxed, the smiley reception person, still sans smileyness but now with a look of perplextion quickly gave me a paper pass and asked me if I knew where I was going.  I slowly lifted my eyes to the huge list of building occupants on the wall behind him and said, yes, floor 5.  That was it, the encounter over.  They didn’t take my photo and I didn’t pull a rocket launcher out of my bag and blow building to kingdom come.

Lets analyse this…

Reasons why I don’t need to be photographed

• I’m not a criminal
• I’m not a terrorist
• I identified myself by name, which he cross referenced to a list of people with appointments and thus expected that day
• I have no idea what the photo is being used for, where it might be published, how it may be stored and or shared
• It’s non of their bloody business

Reasons they want to photograph me

• To give an illusion of security
• To sell my best profile shot to GQ magazine (ok, so this might be just a little ambitious?)

I’ve no doubt that they captured me on multiple CCTV shots as I made my way to the office, and I’m under no illusion that I’ve been captured hundreds of times during the day on other CCTV cameras, but nevertheless, I do think the whole CCTV culture has gone way beyond reasonable.  I feel slightly violated if I’m asked for a photo other than as part of a social thing.  I understand why my Gym might want to check the person using the pass to access facilities is the same person who paid for them, I understand passport control wanting to be able to verify by photo that I’ve a right to be in the country (although, only because we have a benefits system that’s routinely abused; I’d rather have a culture of total freedom of movement, but that’s a whole new subject I’m not going to go into here) but to be asked for photos when I go into a meeting is a step to far.  What next?  Would you be happy being asked for a photo when you check into a hotel? Would you be happy to submit to a photo at the begining of each tube journey? Would you feel happy if the maitre d’ at your restaurant of choice demanded a photo before granting entry?  

I’m going to concede a point here, and that is that a private business does have the right to demand this.  My point is not about the right, it’s about the appropriateness.  The building and its staff were no less safe for my refusal to submit, just as they are no more safe from compliance, but I’m a person, I expect dignity and to be treated with a presumption that I’m not a nutjob.  I don’t want to be treated with an automatic presumption that I’m a threat.  For this reason I shall continue to refuse, albeit politely, whenever I’m asked to make inappropriate submissions.

So, am I a little quirky?  How would you have responded?

The very kind @charonqc a twitter friend of mine has donated this painting to me.  The painting is titled “Let there be greed”.  A veritable thank you to M’learned, @Charonqc who has declined my offer of payment for his work.

Last night I decided that I’d take a walk through the village where my new work away apartment is.  I took a stroll down the hill until I found the first pub and being the sociable chap I am thought it would be rude to pass it without popping in for a swift one.  It was fairly early but there was the landlord and landlady, two old chaps a young lad and a dog in there. That’s it.  Within seconds I’d said hello and we were talking about the snooker on the telly where Stephen Hendry was approaching the end of his 147 break, a repeat from earlier in the day I think.  When I finished my drink, the landlady asked if I wanted another so I explained that I was off to explore the village because I’d just moved in.  She looked at me knowingly and said “Ah, Lynn’s place”, and the wise old bearded sage, clutching his large neat whisky on the stool next to me proceeded to tell me exactly which apartment in the new build block I was in!  It seems this is a closely knit village!!!

We exchanged pleasantries and I continued to walk down the hill towards the local shops.  On finding the next pub I thought again it’d be rude to pass without having a quick look and on walking in was greeted by a member of the bar staff who invited me to find a seat and she’d bring a drink over for me.  Very civilised and quite clearly this place was up-market.  She asked me if I wanted to see the menu.  The pub which was actually a bit more like a wine bar than a pub has an italian bistro attached to the side of it and on further discussion I learned that both the pub and the restaurant were under the same ownership and that they shared a kitchen.  I explained that I’d decided to try the local indian takeaway but that I wouldn’t mind seeing the menu for future reference and very helpfully the hostess gave me a copy of both the pub and the bistro menu for me to take away with me.

After finishing my drink I continued my walk to the local village shops and went into the indian takeaway.  The kitchen was imediately behind the counter so I could watch the food being cooked which I like because it’s kind of reassuring that the hygeine standards of an establishment are open for inspection.  I ordered a dish that was described as fairly hot but which despite me being quite a curry afficianado I’d not actually heard of before. and after a short wait wandered back up the hill to enjoy my meal.

The chef in the curry place clearly has a different definition of fairly hot than I do.  In all seriousness, the dish should have been described as face meltingly rediculously hot, and despite trying, and despite being completely at home with a normal madras strength dish, I had to abandon my attempt to finish the meal about two thirds in.  It took a large glass of Beringer 2005 and a bottle of peroni to finally stop the pain.  Perhaps, given the calorie intake of the walk down the hill and the latter refreshment of my pallet, it was just as well that I didn’t finish the meal!  I think I’ll cook tonight.  I was thinking of seared tuna on a bed of rocket, a drizzle of oil and a string of on the vine cherry tomatoes accompanied by a viognier from the Rhone valley, although if anyone cares to suggest a wine to try with the dish I’m listening!